Mein Sohn braucht Hilfe bei Englisch !

[Fossyxxx]

Hallo ,

Mein Sohn soll sich für nächste Woche ein Gespräch auf Englisch schreiben und ist sich mit dem Text nicht sehr sicher. Da ich nicht sehr viel Erfahrung mit Englisch habe wollte ich Fragen ob einer von euch vielleicht einmal darüber schauen könnte bzw. es ein bisschen ausschmücken könnt.

Hier der Text :

Traveling through the USA

L: Oh! it was a very long flight !
N: Yes, youre right and i beeing very hungry !
L: Im very hungry too !
Oh ! See ! There is a McDonalds !
S: Hello! What it want ?
N: I want a Happy Meal with chips, chicken nuggets and a Sprite .
L: And i want a Long Chicken .
S: 7$ Please !
Thanks !
N: See ! There is a free desk !
L: Oh , it´s very delicious !
N: …................................. too !
L: What you want to doing next ?
N: We can go shopping !
L: Yes ! It´s a good idea !
N: See ! There is a New Yorker Shop !
L: Oh ! Iwant these shoes !
N: Oh , And i want these nice shirt !
S: Hello , It makes 50$ !
N+L: Thanks !
L: Lock , The clock there ! We must go to our bus !
N: Ok , but let us only go to the statue of Liberty !
L: Ok , but only a small moment !
N: See , it´s very big !
L: Yes youre right ! But we must go to the bus !
N: Ok …
L: And , you´re pleased about St. Louis ?
N: Yes , but New York was also nice .
Next Day : ….
L: Oh it was a long drive again.
N: Where do we want as the first?
L: Mhhhh .. , We can drive to „The Arch“ !
N: Oh , its a good idea ! But as we come there?
L: We can buy a ticket for the bus !
N: Ok , See there in front is the next station !
S: Hello , What i can do for you ?
L: We brought a ticket !
S: Where want you ?
L: To „The Arch“ !
S: Ok , It makes 2$ per person .
L+N: Ok , Bye !
L: See ! There is the Arch !
N: Would we go in ?
L: Yes but it is very late ! We must go to our hotel !
N: Ok,...
L: Ok,...

P.S. : Das N:,L: steht für die Personen die reden.

MfG Fxxx

 

[Knightbridge]

S: Hello! What it want ?

Ich würde sage: Hello, what do you want?

L: Lock , The clock there ! We must go to our bus !

Look statt lock oder?

mehr find ich jetzt auch nicht, bin aber auch nicht wirklich gut in Englisch

 

[Spanky ham]

also ich bin kein englisch experte aber sieht gut aus
sollte dein sohn nicht eine lehrerin haben die es 100% richtig haben will passt das ^^

mfg
Spanky ham

 

[Fossyxxx]

danke schon mal für die schnelle Hilfe ...

 

[jrkmaster]

N: Yes, youre right and i beeing very hungry !

Yes you´re right and I´m very hungry.

S: Hello! What it want ?

Hello, what do you want?

L: What you want to doing next ?

What do you want to do next?

S: Hello , It makes 50$ !

Hello, thats 50$, please.

N: Where do we want as the first?

Where should we go first?

N: Oh , its a good idea ! But as we come there?

........! But how do we get there?

S: Hello , What i can do for you ?

Hello, what can I do for you?
ich würde aber eher schreiben: May I help you?

L: We brought a ticket !

brought bedeutet brachte, das passt also nicht richtig
We need(oder: want to buy) a Ticket.

S: Where want you ?

Where do you want to go?

S: Ok , It makes 2$ per person .

OK, that´s 2 $ a person.


ich würde auf die höflichkeit achten, also please und so

mfg: jrkmaster

 

[tomate661]

Sooo ... ich hab ne ganze menge korrigiert ^^'
ich hab nummeriert ... und einiges zusammengefasst. Es ist nicht nach zeilen sondern nach den L & N nummeriert.

2 ... and I am very hungry.

4 What you want, guys?

9 There is a free table.

12 What you want to do next?

20 Look, ... We have to go to our bus! ('must' ist zwar nicht falsch, doch ich finde 'have to' klingt besser ^^)

21 Yeah, of course. But can we go to the statue of liberty? I really want to see it!

22-24 Ok, but only a few minuits! Don´t forget ... our bus.

26 And, are you pleased about St. Louis?

29 What you want to see, L?

30 We can take a bus to 'The Arch'.

31-33 Oh, that´s a good idea! See, over there is a bus stop!

34 Hello, what can I do for you?

35-37 We need to tickets to 'The Arch'. Can you help us?

38 Of course. That´s 4$, guys!

39 Thank you / You´re welcome.

41 Come on! That´ll be great ...

42 Hm, yes ... but it´s late. We have to go to our hotel ... we´ve got only a hour ...

43 Ok, then hurry up!

Ach so, die zusammengefügt wurden, werden natürlich nur von einer Person gesprochen :3
Ich hoff, meine 14jährige Tochter konnte helfen

 

[linda]

Hm? Wir haben so ein schönes Schulforum


Offtopic ----> Schulforum


Linda

 

[Phunsoldier]

Travelling through the USA

L: Oh! It was a very long flight!
N: Yes, you're right and I'm very hungry!
L: I'm very hungry, too!
Oh Look! There is a McDonald's!
S: Hello! What do you want?
N: I want a Happy Meal with French fries, chicken nuggets and a Sprite.
L: And I want a Long Chicken.
S: 7$ Please!
Thanks!
N: Look! There is a free desk!
L: Oh , it's very delicious !
N: …................................., too!
L: What do you want to do?
N: We can go shopping!
L: Yes! That's a good idea!
N: Look! There is a New Yorker Shop!
L: Oh! I want these shoes!
N: Oh, and I want this nice shirt!
S: Hello, that's 50$!
N+L: Thanks!
L: Lok, the clock there! We must go to our bus!
N: Ok, but let us only go to the statue of Liberty!
L: Ok, but it's only a small moment !
N: Look, it's very big!
L: Yes, you're right! But we must go to the bus!
N: Ok…
L: So, you're pleased about St. Louis?
N: Yes, but New York was also nice.
Next Day: ….
L: Oh it was a long drive again.
N: Where do we want to go first?
L: Mhhhh .., we can drive to „The Arch“!
N: Oh, that's a good idea! But how do we go there?
L: We can buy a ticket for the bus!
N: Ok, look there is the next station!
S: Hello, What can I do for you?
L: We need a ticket!
S: Where do you want?
L: To „The Arch“!
S: Ok, that's 2$ per person.
L+N: Ok, Bye!
L: Look! There is the Arch!
N: Should we go in?
L: Yes but it is very late! We must go to our hotel!
N: Ok,...
L: Ok,...

Phunny (.....)

 

[muesli]

Mal alles aufgelistet und tw. ersetzt (in klammern stilistische Alternativen)

L: Oh! it was a very long flight !
N: Yes, you're right and I'm very hungry !
L: I'm very hungry too !
Oh ! Look ! There's a McDonalds !
S: Hello! What do you want (to eat) ?
N: I want a Happy Meal with chips, chicken nuggets and a Sprite .
L: And i want a Long Chicken .
S: 7$ Please !
Thanks !
N: Look, there's a free table !
L: Oh , it´s very delicious ! (it tastes very delicious)
N: me too !
L: What do you want to do next? ? (What you (we) are going to do next?)
N: We can go shopping ! (Let's go shopping)
L: Yes ! That´s a good idea !
N: Look ! There is a New Yorker Shop ! (Look! There's a shop of "New Yorker")
L: Oh ! I want these shoes ! (Oh, I must have (I like (to buy)) these shoes)
N: Oh , And i want these nice shirt ! (And I prefer (like) this nice shirt (these nice shirts))
S: Hello , that's 50$ (bucks) !
N+L: Thanks !
L: Look at this clock there (Watch the time)! We must go to our bus !
N: Ok , but let us only go to the statue of Liberty ! (but let's visit only the statue of liberty)
L: Ok , but only for a short moment !
N: Look , it´s very big !
L: Yes you're right ! But (now) we have to go to the bus !
N: Ok …
L: And , you´re pleased about St. Louis ?
N: Yes , but New York is also nice .
Next Day : ….
L: Oh, it was a long journey again.
N: What we're going to do first?
L: Mhhhh .. , We can visit „The Arch“ !
N: Oh , its a good idea ! But how do we get there?
L: We need (to buy) a ticket for the bus !
N: Ok , look, the next station is just [over there] (or) in front of us !
S: Hello , What can I do for you ?
L: We need a ticket !
S: Where do you want to go ? (May I help you? /What's your direction)
L: To „The Arch“ !
S: Ok , that's 2$ per person .
L+N: Ok , Bye !
L: Look ! There's the Arch !
N: Should we go in ?
L: Yes, but it's very late ! We must (have to)go back to our hotel !
N: Ok,...
L: Ok,...

Stilblüten und evtl. noch existente Fehler nicht ausgeschlossen
Aber ich wollte wirklich nicht alles neu...

muesli

Phunny war schneller, aber auch schluder***... Not for bad *bg*

 

[Phunsoldier]

@muesli: Ich habe extra nicht alles so korrigiert, dass es in blütenreinem Englisch dasteht
Der Kleine ist so wie ich den Text sehe noch nicht ganz so weit in Englisch, deshalb kommt es dann in der Schule auch leicht komisch rüber, wenn er auf einmal Arbeiten abliefert, die überhaupt nicht dem Niveau der Klasse entsprechen.

@TS: Wie alt ist er denn und in welcher Klasse ist er?

Phunny